http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com Live It | Life | PowderRoomGraffiti.com en-us PowderRoomGraffiti.com Wed, 08 Sep 2010 06:31:20 +0000 60 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/show-me-the-foreign-money.html I'm a
planner when it comes to vacations. I search out where to go, what there
is to do, how much it will cost and the logistics of getting from place to
place - something my husband doesn't seem to take into account when he names
off the ten places he wants to see in a two-week vacation.
]]> Wed, 08 Sep 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/trading-down-or-just-giving-up.html Like almost nobody
else, I don't just go to the cut price supermarkets for the frozen lobster, as
reported widely in every quality newspaper at length every time lsquo;austerity
shopping' is mentioned.
]]> Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/no-easy-lay.html
My friend was
off on holiday and wanted to know if I could look after her chickens. I wasn't keen.

]]> Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/thats-not-really-one-for-the-sisterhood.html lsquo;Well that's one for the fucking sisterhood then isn't it' I retorted
angrily. lsquo;I do know that he's the one with the responsibilities but surely by
shagging him you're the one condoning it'
]]> Fri, 03 Sep 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/how-to-ensure-there-will-be-no-second-date.html First dates are always exciting -
at least when they go well. Sometimes when a first date is not ideal, should you give the guy a second chance Maybe he was
nervous, maybe he'd been fired that day, maybe he ate something bad. Or is it
just time to write him off and go back to the dating site, local bar or your
special Friend With Benefits until you meet someone new
Read More]]> Fri, 03 Sep 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-reluctant-pyromaniac.html We Brits love a barbeque. Probably because
our weather is so completely crappy and geared against them. On the rare
occasions we get a nice day, it makes us feel like we're having a proper summer
(like the Americans and Aussies do) and we go into overdrive.
]]> Thu, 02 Sep 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/shifting-emotions.html What
with the all the popularity of shape shifters these days (True Blood on HBO,
the Twilight books), I've been thinking what it would be like to actually have
the ability to change my shape.
Read More]]> Thu, 02 Sep 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/graffiti-artist.html
A letter to The Local Graffiti lsquo;Artist':

Thank you for your most recent visit to my
neighbourhood. You clearly enjoyed yourself enormously, judging from the sheer
volume of lsquo;work' you produced overnight. Please don't consider me forward, but
may I call you by your tagging name - Voltz
]]> Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/facing-up-to-forty.html I've discovered a
wonderful truth. My friends and I don't age. It's just that there are
a lot more young people around than there used to be. People who look
implausibly young to me are policemen, hospital consultants and teachers. People
my age become Prime Minister and sell companies for millions. I must,
therefore, be older than I realise.
]]> Mon, 30 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/not-worried-about.html Once in a blue moon, you'll experience a snippet of
time and think, hey, it really can't get much better than this. And, no, it
doesn't involve Italian men half my age or anything as 'Eat Pray Love' as
that.
Read More]]> Mon, 30 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/moms-doing-what-with-who.html What would
you think if your 68-year-old mother told you she's getting married again Really,
not such a big deal, right I mean, it's quite common these days for older
folk to remarry when their lifelong mate passes away.
]]> Fri, 27 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/why-walking-is-good-for-you-and-for-others.html Picture the scene. It's a baking hot, sunny
day at the beginning of July. You're by the coast and the city is full of
people sun-bathing on the beach, sitting out in beer gardens drinking ice-cold
drinks, or relaxing in the shade of their own garden enjoying a BBQ. And where
are you You're standing in the middle of a park along with thousands of other
women, the sun high in the sky and no shade in sight. You're surrounded by
stalls, stands, music and merchandise. The atmosphere is one of fun and
excitement, the crowd charged for action and waiting for something to happen.
Welcome to Cancer Research UK's Race for Life.
]]> Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/tourist-fatigue.html
I live in a beautiful part of the world. Surrounded
by wild woods, mountains, garrigue, rushing streams and deep blue skies...blah
blah blah...


Fists twitching yet Want to introduce a sledgehammer
to your computer No

]]> Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/ambition-is-a-funny-thing.html I'm not sure when my children grew up
because it certainly wasn't when I was watching. One day I'm stashing nappy
cream in the bathroom cabinet because we may still need it lsquo;one day,' the next
I'm helping to choose spot cream, razors and leg wax.
]]> Mon, 23 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/getting-a-rise-out-of-the-daughter.html I know, theoretically, that I should be a
better and bigger person than this but sometimes I cannot help myself. Once in a while, a tempting occasion arises,
which affords one the opportunity to exact some revenge. A little sweet revenge
or a lot, it doesn't matter. It's the beauty of the moment that presents
itself, and you just have to take advantage of it. Carpe diem.
]]> Mon, 23 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/when-friends-are-your-family.html According
to experts on the subject of happiness, spending time with family makes us
happier. It might sound like a simple and obvious statement, but I'm willing to
bet that a fair few households (my own included) would tell us otherwise come
Christmas Day and family holidays.
]]> Fri, 20 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/add-vs-hsp-too-many-letters-for-a-relationship.html A few months ago, I wrote about dating Matthew, my polar
opposite, and how it ended just shy of a
commitment. To a mental institution, that is. What started out as a breath of
fresh air for both of us quickly turned into lsquo;Fight Club'
- without the benefit of A-list stars or David Fincher's direction. We
did, however, have a surprise twist to our ending, just when I thought the
story was over, although rest assured, it does not involve split personalities.
Read More]]> Fri, 20 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/dancing-the-fandango.html I'm afraid I have become rather resentful of a
young girl dying of cancer. Or is it a spammer trying to collect as many
e-mail addresses as possible I'm not sure.
]]> Wed, 18 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/styletude.html Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Victoria Beckham and Michelle Obama are just
some of the names mentioned when discussing lsquo;style.' These ladies are stylish
in their own way; Marilyn unwittingly helped define the Hollywood era, although
my imagination takes me to her bathroom, her head hung over the tub and hair
dripping with bleach on an all-too-frequent basis.
]]> Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/i-dont-want-to-be-a-dinner-lady.html This is it. The time has come. Sixteen
years as a stay at home mum has all but bankrupted us. Unless we are going to
satisfy a long-standing curiosity to find out what a bailiff looks life, I need
a paid job and jobs for the ageing unqualified are thin on the ground.
]]> Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/parenting-faux-pas.html So
the tooth fairy didn't show up last night. Can you believe the nerve of that
bitch If she could have only seen the look of sadness and disappointment on my
son's face. God, I wanted to strangle her. Who could do such a horrid thing to
an innocent young boy so filled with the anticipation of reaching under his
pillow first thing in the morning, sliding his hand under to grasp that crisp
dollar bill, or shiny gold dollar coin - only to come up empty handed
]]> Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-last-single-in-the-village.html I have
made a conscious decision to be single. I'm not a crazy cat lady,
I'm not a closet lesbian and I certainly haven't been put off men because of
past experiences. I just think that at this point in my life, I haven't got the
time or energy to pour into a relationship, and I don't see the point of
serious dating unless I find somebody that absolutely blows me away right from
the word go. And, it has to be said, I absolutely love it. I love the freedom
it affords and I don't stay away from the opposite sex completely - I often
have flings but never let it get too serious.
Read More]]> Fri, 13 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/doing-sixty-in-a-thirty-zone.html I'm
bumping down the beach on a four-wheel quad. The wind whips my hair off my
face, blowing it into dreadlocks. Sand gets into my eyes and nostrils. The sky
is a dark blanket filled with hundreds of shiny pinpricks.
Read More]]> Fri, 13 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/mean-or-green.html I used to make a number of my own clothes; mostly dresses,
skirts and knitwear, and when my daughter was small I made many of her clothes
too. Sadly the habit diminished when I returned to full-time work, although I
still made my own curtains and continued to mend and revamp my clothes.
]]> Wed, 11 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/ms-manners.html
I'm
pretty big on manners. I don't like it when people are rude to me, so I aim to
be a generally polite and pleasant person myself.


I've
drilled our children about their pleases and thank yous, the way they make
phone calls, and of being mindful of other people when they are out and about.
It seems to have paid off; we are often complimented about our lsquo;lovely kids' -
by other parents, and acquaintances, and by restaurant staff.

]]> Wed, 11 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/soul-mates-or-cellmates.html My first thought when hearing of a couple who have been married
for 10 years or more is: Holy crap! How do you not want to dig a tunnel out of
the house with a spoon in the middle of the night
]]> Mon, 09 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/parenting-its-as-simple-as-abc-2.html Following on from Part One of the new set of ABCs for cool mums everywhere...

Read More]]> Fri, 06 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/doormat-to-dominatrix-in-ten-easy-steps.html
Do you feel like your family takes you
for granted Are you treated more as a service module than a human being these
days Has your partner stopped appreciating you

If the answer
to these questions is a heartfelt and anguished 'Yeeesssss!' it's about time
you followed the 10 Step 'Doormat to Dominatrix' plan.
]]> Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/yellow-fever.html lsquo;Yellow fever' Definition: Expat slang. A
horrid, very politically incorrect expression for the common condition of a
Western man fancying Asian women.
]]> Tue, 03 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/well-always-be-together-wha-ooh-yeah.html I
was looking forward to my 20-year college reunion very much. It would be the
first time for ages that I could sit down for an entire four course meal
without having to get up for wipes, refills of drinks, dropped food or anything
else. I was also looking forward to seeing members of my matriculation year,
although I was hard pressed to remember who they were.
Read More]]> Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/more-or-less.html
I'm an approximate type of person. I believe in
approximations of numbers, of not being accurately accurate. Numbers bother me.


I'll never get a job as a carpenter nor a bank cashier,
that's for sure. I wouldn't hire me. Imagine a client asking for
their bank account balance. I'd be answering, lsquo;Well, more or less, $2,500. Sort
of, that is, give or take a few dollars, I think.' I'd be cutting wood after
measuring it using my fingers and get a rough idea of how long the piece should
be. If you cut it big enough then you can always trim it, that's my philosophy.
How much has to be trimmed Just a teeny wee bit, that's all.

]]> Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/parenting-its-as-simple-as-abc.html A is for Arguments. Easily
handled with a touch of tact and diplomacy, listening and taking on board that
small person's point of view. Alternatively I find the stock answer of lsquo;Don't
Argue With Your Mother' covers most bases.
Read More]]> Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/let-me-through.html My daughter
and I are driving along when a pedestrian appears, two cars ahead. He looks to
be executing a perfect side dive, like a goalkeeper attempting a tricky save. I
wonder vaguely why he's chosen the middle of the road for his performance.
]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/stuck-in-the-middle.html
The
word lsquo;middle' conjures up many images. Some apply to my life, others do not.


There
is the middle child. Not gushed and gooed over like the firstborn, not pampered
and spoiled like the baby, the middle child has been the subject of numerous
psychological theories. Being the oldest sibling, my odd behavior fell under a
different category.

]]> Tue, 27 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/shopping-listless.html My 6-year-old is riding the trolley like a sleigh, jack-kniving into old matrons and
hippies with democratic malice. In the car on the way here, he wolfed a banana
and a carton of chocolate milk...and now it's payback time.
]]> Mon, 26 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-first-date-of-the-rest-of-your-life.html After many months of requests from my close
friend, I reluctantly agreed to join a Dating Website. Joining the site
turned
out to be a fairly painless process, in part because my friend
practically
created the profile for me.
]]> Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/misery-loves-company.html I have a
friend who has struggled with weight issues all of her life. She is very
good
at getting rid of the pounds but not so good at keeping them off. I have
seen
her lose the same 35 pounds time and time again and, in the blink of an
eye,
it's back.
]]> Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/invasion-of-men-in-shorts.html Something is
afoot. This normally sleepy backwater in the Pyrenees is suddenly
buzzing with
activity. We are in the midst of another heatwave, and most sensible
people are
to be found inside their cool dark houses, shuttered away from the
blistering
sun.
]]> Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/teenage-bedroom-syndrome.html I recall listening to a friend talk many
years ago about having teenage children. She made it sound like a
disease. At
the time, up to my eyelids in toddler tantrums and dirty nappies, I
confess I
couldn't really see her problem. But several years down the line, I'm
starting
to feel ill.
]]> Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/sexual-harassment-is-alive-and-not-so-well.html If you're like me, you've fallen hard for the AMC surprise
hit show 'Mad Men.' However, you might sit back and watch the
flagrant
sexual harassment and think lsquo;Wow, thank God those days are over.' Let me
tell
you - as hard as it is to believe - sexual harassment is still prevalent
in the
workforce. It might be a little less in-your-face, but it's there
regardless.
]]> Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/will-the-real-mrs-james-please-stand-up.html Have
you ever noticed that there are women out there who were born to be
grown ups. They
always seem to know what they're doing; they know everything that's
going on in
the neighborhood, or at school. They usually volunteer for everything,
like
class mom, cafeteria monitor, or field trip volunteer. Everyone knows
them as
Mrs. So and So. They seem to have it all together. Well I'm embarrassed
to
admit that I am not one of those women. I'm not sure if I ever will be.
But I
find the older I get, the more I covet the skills required to fill those
shoes.
]]> Fri, 16 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/meat-is-murder.html There was silence
at the table as my vegetarian son pleaded with his omnivorous granddad for some
Cumberland sausage. The grandparents looked worried. They were caught between a sausage, a
daughter-in-law and a hard place. What to do
Read More]]> Wed, 14 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/grin-and-bear-it.html I went to the cemetery on Memorial Day to put
flowers on my mother's and grandparents' graves. My daughter went with me. We
took flowers that were from her friend's garden. They were lovely: Lilies and
roses.
]]> Wed, 14 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/fake-cake-bake.html Once again, I have fallen into one of the
traps that lie in wait for unsuspecting outsiders. I feel like the
victim of a
confidence trick. I'm not sure I will ever understand the French and
their
lsquo;ways.'
]]> Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/thirteen-things-i-love-to-hate.html There are so many things that I love to
hate. But here are the top thirteen:
]]> Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/to-porn-or-not-to-porn.html This topic has so many permutations that I want to be very
clear what I'm talking about here. I am not talking about anything that
remotely involves, resembles, or touches on children, teenagers, or involves
harm to another person in any fashion, nor am I addressing the subject of
addiction to pornography. Are we
clear All right then...
]]> Thu, 08 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/owl-balloon.html I
once lived in a house where the roof-top was plagued by hordes
of enthusiastic pigeons. Each morning I'd awake to the delicate (ahem)
sound of
the dawn chorus whose only singers were of the pigeon variety. Pigeons
are not
really known for their beautiful singing voices so waking up in this way
was
not my preferred choice of alarm call. (Rampant drum banging would have
been
better.) The pigeons also sang in the afternoon and during the evening,
just as
the light of day began to fade. As I say, they were enthusiastic but
very
unwelcome roof-top guests.
]]> Wed, 07 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/to-be-discontinued.html I can kill any trend. Once I catch on,
there is something about me that automatically bestows the kiss of death. Could
it be that I am simply behind the times and only discover things when their day
is over and the rest of the world is moving on Or do I have a special gift
Could I market this ability by hiring myself out to a company, and then showing
interest in their closest rival's products - thereby finishing them off forever
]]> Tue, 06 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/pre-nup-bone-up.html In these modern times, everything is a deal. No
matter what the transaction, each move we make is scrutinised for its
commercial potential. And if the obsession is not about making money,
then it's
about keeping hold of the dosh we already have.
]]> Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/honey-its-time-to-accept-it.html I am slowly coming to a realization: we are
never going to get over the financial slump my family has found itself
in. We
are always going to be poor. OK. Let me rephrase. Maybe we are not going
to
always lsquo;be poor, really poor,' like Oliver Twist poor, but we are most
likely never going to be rich, like David Beckham rich, and I need to
start
acting like a poor person, which means spending money like a poor
person.
]]> Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/saddos-unite.html
I was
listening to a radio programme about Schumann in which the presenter sadly
extolled the tragedy of the great composer's condition:
Virtuoso-cum-champion-saddo.


lsquo;There are
very few true geniuses,' he said (and I'm paraphrasing). lsquo;And with the Yin of a
genius comes, only too often, the Yang of depression.'

]]> Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/driving-again.html
I was sitting in a hired car, holding the
steering wheel with my sweaty hands and trying to remember what I was
supposed
to do. There was a lump in my stomach. My right
leg was stiffly pressed on the brake and my head was spinning.


I
had only been
driving the car for five minutes, when I'd got to the first roundabout.
I'd tried
to squeeze in quickly but couldn't. The car had stalled and a queue had
started to form
behind me. I could hear the impatient sound of horns.

]]> Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/travel-broadens-the-mind.html lsquo;It is not worthwhile to go around the world to count the cats in Zanzibar,' said the American writer Henry David Thoreau in 1854, and views on travel and travelling have varied down the years. Dr Johnson said of the the Giants' Causeway, lsquo;Worth seeing, yes; but not worth going to see.' Queen Victoria was unimpressed by accounts of her eldest son's visit to India: lsquo;Bertie's progresses lose a little interest and are very wearing - as there is such a constant repetition of elephants - trappings - jewels - illuminations and fireworks.'
]]> Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/in-the-raw.html
The eyes seem to follow me around the
supermarket.


I move along, trying to force the image from my
mind.

Shopping finished, I escape to the safety of the
car. I drive home, to sanctuary, and a steadying cup of tea.
]]> Wed, 23 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/bunny-hops-it.html The Loire Valley. To some, it is famed for its history, landscapes,
chateaux and, er, Loire. To my youngest, it is a killing field - or flood plain
- where assorted wildlife at varying degrees of cuddliness is horrifically done
to death.
]]> Wed, 23 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/motherhood-once-removed.html I
was recently at the high school graduation of my now youngest daughter and
realized that I was in an uncomfortable position. I don't like being
uncomfortable - that puts me in the majority I believe.
]]> Tue, 22 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-case-of-the-house-bike.html Since about August of last year there has
been a bike in my house. Not in a garage or a shed but actually in the
house.
From my perspective, houses are meant for tables, chairs, vases but
definitely
not for bikes. There are others, who do not share this view.
]]> Tue, 22 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/paradise-lost.html The holiday season is upon us again. Deep,
unbounded joy. Am I the only one who finds organising a holiday for five
so stressful By the time I've unwound at our holiday destination, whoops, it's
time to go home again - and the only reason I was so stressed in the first
place was because I was organising the damn holiday.
]]> Mon, 21 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/anyone-for-tennis.html Every year,
the rest of the world observes the British through the Wimbledon window. Is it
any wonder they think we are odd That they believe strawberries and cream are
our staple diet That they presume our pathetic Mexican Waves are an indication
of our crippling inhibition
]]> Mon, 21 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/bed-buddies.html I'm unable to understand
why they - whoever lsquo;they' are - say that women can only have
un-emotional sex.
Translation: A woman has to really like a guy to sleep with him,
or if
it's a drunken accident, then the woman really wants it to develop into
something more.
]]> Mon, 14 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/androngyny-nomenclatural-trends.html Drew Barrymore. Reese Witherspoon. Glenn Close.
Cameron Diaz. Let me tell you something about these film stars...they
are all
women. Even though they have boys', or should I say ambisexual names.
]]> Wed, 09 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/lifestyle-envy.html I recently tried to track down a rather dishy friend of mine whom I'd
foolishly lost touch with. Having found 83 lsquo;Charlie Hunters' on
Facebook, I
decided to send him a text instead. This did the trick and a few hours
later we
were on the phone.
]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-boxer-me-round-one.html My nemesis is a 2-year-old,
forty pound boxer dog named Max. From the moment he came into my life,
he's
created chaos. He has eaten everything from expensive shoes to cherished
dolls.
And he has broken dishes, computers
and one very much needed finger.
]]> Tue, 08 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/stupid-volcanos.html A few weeks ago the Northwest marked the
anniversary of Mt. Saint Helens blowing its top and gaining notoriety
as the
first volcanic explosion in the continental US since, well, I don't
know, a
long damn time otherwise we'd all have been shrugging our shoulders
saying lsquo;Eh,
there goes another one.'
]]> Mon, 07 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-fishy-way-to-get-rid-of-a-date.html lsquo;Oh my God it's him! He's here!' Laura squealed in my ear as she
simultaneously dragged me behind a mirrored pillar, lifted up her
handbag to
cover her face, and sunk her stiletto into my Ugg.
Read More]]> Mon, 07 Jun 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/letting-it-all-hang-out.html
lsquo;You have what'


I'm on
the phone to my sister in England. Only just across the Channel, but it
might
as well be across the galaxy. When the frayed France Telecom string gets
pulled
too tight, sound quality suffers.


The
line is terrible...I thought she said lsquo;tumble dryer guilt.' But not even
my
sister would embrace notions of such frivolous torture. Not when she has
a
million other things to be feeling guilty about. Not that I'm bitter...

]]> Tue, 01 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/wish-you-werent-here.html I don't
know whether to feel proud or ashamed of what I am going to do. I'm not
even
sure how my family and friends are going to react to the news of my
latest
plans. Thankfully, my husband and kids have been delightfully
understanding
about the situation, but to be fair, I did manipulate them into thinking
that
it was their idea all along.
]]> Mon, 31 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/chronic-romanticitis.html With the expectation of spring right around
the corner here in the Northern hemisphere, we are getting ready to
trade in
our parkas (or long-sleeved t-shirts for those of you in Southern
California)
for tank tops. But there is another expectation hovering in the crisp
air: that
of romance. Ah, sweet romance. Bouquets of flowers with a card that is
bordering on poetry, candlelit dinners on the terrace, a surprise
breakfast in
bed, a spontaneous moonlit walk on the beach. Not to mention those
lingering
gazes, intertwined fingers under the table and hungry kisses that make
you late
for work and you don't even care.
]]> Mon, 31 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/i-may-be-a-cat-lady-2.html I love my
cats. If that makes me a Cat Lady, well then so be it. Despite the cat
hair in
my lip gloss and kitty litter in my sheets, they make me smile every
single
day.
]]> Wed, 26 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-outlaw.html
lsquo;I'm just ringing to say have a wonderful night - and
I'll bet you look gorgeous as always.'


The familiar Scottish voice was always supportive
and welcome.

]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-metamorphosis-of-boys-to-men.html I'm
generally an evidence-based thinker, so after I had kids, I pretty
quickly
switched from the lsquo;Boys and girls are only different because they're
raised to
be different' camp to the lsquo;Boys and girls are different from the get-go'
camp. When
you have a son and a daughter, it becomes markedly clear that all things
are
not created equal. Or, at least, the same. I'm not naiuml;ve - my kids have
been
subjected to plenty of social pressure (my son was inundated with trains
and
cars, and my daughter was covered in more pink than a cotton-candy
stand). But there's no denying the fact that if you rolled up a towel
and
wrapped it in duct tape, one kid would use it to whack the hell out of
everything and the...]]> Mon, 24 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/up-periscope.html
News that women will soon be permitted to serve
alongside men in Navy submarines has been welcomed in the USA. Pressure
to
overhaul the rule had been mounting for some time, and as the deadline
for
congressional veto expired at the end of last month, women can now be
considered for submariner roles alongside men.


But is this really progress

]]> Wed, 19 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/crimes-of-fashion.html I am guilty of many things, but no one would accuse me of being a
fashion leader. My shopping career has been spent in pursuit of
mediocrity of
style - lsquo;comfort' being a key criterion, followed by a somewhat slavish
adherence to lsquo;my colours' as prescribed by Colour Me Beautiful back in
the
Eighties.
]]> Tue, 18 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/grasping-the-nettle.html
How do you respond when a nettle stings you


Do you swear Lash
out Clutch at your wounds with
excessive histrionics

Many of us display this kind of behaviour.
]]> Mon, 17 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/against-our-better-judgment.html We didn't want a dog. My husband and I had made
that perfectly clear. A few years ago, we said goodbye to our 16-year-old
arthritic,
saw-more-bad-days-than-good, train wreck of a pooch and that was it for
us.
Daisy is comfortably resting in the dining room china cabinet in her
container.
Cremated.
]]> Fri, 14 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-crusts-are-off.html
I wonder how many sandwiches I've whipped up in my
lifetime


Crumbs. The answer would have to be a lot.


Ever since I was old enough to be let loose alone in
the kitchen, I have thrown slices of bread around 'stuff.' It was the
first
snack I remember making for myself. At age five, I was so very proud of
my
Heston Blumenthal-esque 'Marmite, pickle and honey mega-combo.'

]]> Wed, 12 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/how-not-to-holiday.html My
childhood holidays always started at 5.30am on a Saturday when we left
the
house to lsquo;escape the traffic.' Of course, everyone else had the same
idea, so overloaded
cars with children scrapping in the back clogged the roads. Motorway
service
stations were considered too expensive to eat in so we had to have lunch
in the
car. I remember my baby brother smearing the back seat with chicken
paste sandwiches
and chocolate.
]]> Mon, 10 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/doughnut-weak.html
I have the week of 8th - 15th May
blocked out in my diary. In big red letters, I have scrawled 'National
Doughnut
Week - eat doughnuts all week for charity.' It was pretty pointless
writing it
down, to be honest. I'm not going to forget that sort of thing in a
hurry.

]]> Mon, 10 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/moms-on-tv.html Ah... Mother. That word conjures up different
images depending on which generation you are referring to.
]]> Fri, 07 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-recalcitrant-daughter-in-law.html Am I alone in reverting to a
recalcitrant teenager around my parents-in-law What is it about them
that brings
out the worst in me
]]> Mon, 03 May 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/train-ride-through-the-land-of-nods.html Romans
throughout history have had the habit of leaving their mark on conquered
soil
and even the word graffiti is based on the Italian word for
scratch. The
Roman youth of today are practising an ancient art, in the manner, if
not with
the style, of their ancestors. Graffiti decorates the walls, lamp-posts
and
doors. Pretty much any surface in the Eternal City is begging for some
kid or
other to leave his or her piece of paintable immortality.
]]> Mon, 03 May 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/scan-this.html
So, airports are introducing scanners to make sure we
aren't carrying contraband items onto planes. I don't have a problem
with this.


They're not hunting for the odd naughty apple stuffed
into your rucksack, or innocent pair of nail scissors in your handbag.
They are
on the look out for stuff that could blow an airliner apart in the sky.
Explosives.
Bombs. Nasty stuff that could really put a dent in your holiday plans.


]]> Fri, 30 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/gap-years.html So it turns out that it happens to us all. It's
just that it happens to us all at different times, or stages, in our
lives. We
all eventually wonder who we are, and if we're having fun yet. Of all
the
clicheacute;s, the saying, lsquo;youth is wasted on the young' is the one which
rings most
true for me. Because I didn't want my
youth. I wanted to grow up.
]]> Fri, 30 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/travel-insurance-in-one-easy-step.html Paris is
lovely, and booking everything for an upcoming trip has gone like
clockwork.
Flights, check. Airport parking, check. Paris excursion, check. Train
tickets
in France, check. So, travel insurance just to be on the safe side...
]]> Mon, 26 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/changing-of-the-guard.html Remember when you were ... the adored granddaughter
The daughter The spunky high school senior The recent college graduate
with
the world at her feet The newlywed The new mother And then you're the
experienced mother, and all too soon the excited first time
grandmother
]]> Fri, 23 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-importance-of-pasta-and-laughter.html He stares across the dining table at me waiting for me to
laugh. I feel more like screaming. Screaming very loudly and throwing
cutlery
at him. Instead I manage to summon up the sickliest ghost of a smile.
This
Herculean effort is mainly because we are in my favourite restaurant and
I
don't want to be forbidden from relishing Marco's cooking ever again. My
miserly effort doesn't impress my dining companion because I am
obviously meant
to laugh helplessly and appreciatively at his wonderful wit. Only it is a
joke
so old and tired, it is comatose with fatigue. I've heard it dozens of
times,
you've heard it dozens of times, but he apparently thinks that it is the
flagship of originality.
]]> Thu, 22 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-townies-move-to-a-rural-idyll.html
lsquo;I'll give you two months, tops,' snorted
my townie brother between snide guffaws.


Our gobsmacked friends twitched nervous
smiles of disbelief tinged with pity that we had seriously lost it, and
mumbled
words of encouragement. lsquo;Poooh! All those dung smells - you'll never
hack it,
living right out there.'

]]> Mon, 19 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-science-behind-an-untidy-house.html
My husband
keeps mentioning the lsquo;c' word. It horrifies me every time he says it.


'Cleaning'
is at the bottom of my to do list. I do a bit, but it's a thankless and
often
fruitless task. If I do manage to scrub the kitchen floor, it's covered
in
crumbs and spillages three hours later. My husband is suggesting we get a
cleaner. He's assuming a cleaner will make life easier, but he's wrong.
And
I've discovered cleaning is a waste of time anyway.

]]> Mon, 12 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/hospitals-and-nurses-and-bears-oh-my.html There are occasions that you should bark and not be
apologetic about it. Some of us, or should I say the majority of us
women, are
not groomed to challenge authority and especially not the authority of
doctors
or even nurses, who can be pretty intimidating and downright ugly acting
at
times.
]]> Mon, 12 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/what-larks.html My 11-year-old son has got this Thing. You know what I mean
- a Thing. Madonna had one at Wembley. A headset with a microphone and
earpiece enabling you to play online with your mates on the Nintendo Wii
and X-Box.
]]> Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/50-ways-to-lose-your-lover.html Paul
Simon was looking out for the boys when he penned his 1975 classic, lsquo;50
Ways to
Leave Your Lover.' Yep, he told Jack to lsquo;Slip out the back,' advised
Stan to
lsquo;Make a new plan' and, as we know good and well, he counseled Gus to
just get
on that damned bus.
]]> Tue, 06 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/thisll-make-you-laugh.html Recently
I went away for a long weekend, to celebrate my brother's fiftieth
birthday.
His wife had booked a huge old castle in the middle of nowhere, and had
invited
sixteen people to share the property for three nights. I had been
looking
forward to rambling walks by day, and boozy evenings round the fire.
]]> Mon, 05 Apr 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-evolution-of-babysitting.html
Babysitting, besides prostitution, is probably one of the
oldest professions around.


Wow, that sounded wrong somehow. But it sure is a time-old
way for people to earn money while pursuing their degrees, in between
jobs, or,
sometimes, even as a full time way to pay the bills. What's interesting
is how
the job has changed over the years.

]]> Mon, 05 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/to-tell-or-not-to-tell-you-the-truth.html Back in high school, when my friends and I used to prep ourselves for
our Saturday nights, we always critiqued each other, adding a belt here,
spraying a wisp of hair there. We were truly concerned with each other
and how we looked. My mother would always get upset before I left the
house because she never seemed to care for my choice of outfits and she
felt my friends were not true friends because they were not being honest
with me about how bad (in her opinion) my outfit looked.
]]> Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-bad-case-of-tmi.html You
may have heard of the malady TMJ, in other words Temporomandibular
Joint. It's
when you clench your teeth or jaw so much you get pain in the face where
the
jaw bones meet. Obviously making it impossible to speak.
]]> Wed, 31 Mar 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/red-squares.html Yet another sleepover for my 11-year-old son. What is
it with these sleepover things What's wrong with going round a pal's
house for tea (eggs and chips, say), and going home at six o'clock the
same
day Why should they have to sleep there as well Mystery to me, I tell
you.
]]> Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/trophy-wife.html I have a friend who is best
friends with the woman who stole her husband
away from her many moons ago. I think that is laudable ... or something.
]]> Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/getting-earthy.html Any idea what you might be doing at 8.30pm on
Saturday night You don't know Well, if you're inviting a hot new date
around
for a nibble - things just might get a bit interesting!
]]> Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/identity-theft.html The other day I was in the Department of Motor Vehicles
(DMV) to renew my driver's license. And as anyone knows, going to the
DMV is
not that different from a trip to the dentist: it's a long wait, a
painful
experience and when you leave, you feel numb and vow never to return.
]]> Wed, 24 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/-and-the-loo-roll-came-too.html It's quite an
uppity little beast, isn't it Drop it and it rolls all over the
bathroom
floor. Invite a single piece to tear off and its friends come too. Find
ourselves staring at the last square and it instantly zaps rational
thought.
]]> Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/verbal-diarrhea-its-a-curse.html I'm incapable of knowing when to shut up. I
inherited it from my parents. My parents are friendly, maybe overly
friendly.
My dad was quiet and shy as a child, so for the last 50 years he's been
making
up for lost time. Apparently I'm doing the same. I started working for a
newspaper in 1998, where I had to converse with other humans if I wanted
to get
paid, and it was all downhill from there.
]]> Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/finding-yourself-part-one.html What do you
do when your best friend is knocking boots with every Tom, ahem, Dick,
and
Harry in town Sit her down and give her a good talking to Well, if
you're me,
you open a can of Miller Lite, pull up a chair, light up a cig and get
ready
for a good vicarious thrill.
]]> Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/beware-of-cats-on-the-move.html When we decided to move from the chaos of
the city to the peace of the country, my husband secretly hoped that it
might
be an ideal opportunity to 'lose' my two cats in the vast countryside.
]]> Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/no-pain-no-gain.html
It's not often we get the whiff of a riot around
here.

But lately, there has been something in the air. And
my instincts are telling me to run for cover.
Read More]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/corporate-condiments.html I needed a job with less heavy
lifting. I was almost forty and had been a vocalist/musician for over
fifteen
years, responsible for singing, playing and carrying my heavy keyboards
and
sound equipment to hotel bars, rotary clubs, weddings, bar mitzvahs and
the
occasional bowling alley. Ah, the glamorous life of a performer! So now,
although I'd never had a corporate job in my life, I was set to begin
work as a
publicist.
]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-upside-of-an-empty-nest.html
Is there an upside to having an lsquo;empty nest'


Well yes, if
the alternative means being one of those parents moaning about their
twenty-somethings (and God forbid their thirty-somethings) still living at
home. I know there's a recession on but that's ridiculous.

]]> Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/whoo-eee.html
I had just climbed out of my parked car and was toting a grocery bag and
sipping sweet tea from McD's, heading for my house, when a car soared by and a
passenger called out, lsquo;Whoo!'
As in, lsquo;Whoo, mama!'

]]> Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-language-of-the-working-mum.html
Juggling, compromise, exhaustion, guilt, guilt and yes more guilt. Sound familiar


Before children (BC) these words had meaning to me, obviously. But juggling was something clowns did, compromise was a Chardonnay not a Sancerre, because it was the end of the month and I was broke, and exhaustion was how I felt after a night out on the razzle dazzle. And guilt Well that was telling a white lie of the 'I feel a bit ill' variety to miss a day's work when I was hungover.

]]> Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/i-am-an-office-worker.html
My life has dealt me a strange card lately. In these horrible financial times I have been forced out of my little comfort zone to take on odd jobs to help pay for groceries. Actually it would be helpful if I could pay the mortgage but the lsquo;odd jobs' haven't got me there yet.


So, tah dah, I have become an Office Worker.

]]> Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/for-family-togetherness.html
From
recent experience, I can testify that the best way to bring your family
together is to kill the cat.


When
the vet told us that ours had multiple medical problems and would need two
pills a day for the rest of her life just to stay alive, I discussed it with
the kids.

]]> Tue, 09 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/wishing-for-the-moon.html What's worse than half-term I mean even worse Yes, the School
Project. On lsquo;Science and Space.' Great. Good old Year 6,
eh Giving 11-year-olds an endless subject like that. What's wrong with a
bit of algebra That's what I want to know.
]]> Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/easter-cant-come-soon-enough.html
I only procrastinate when it comes to Lent.


Every February there I am, listening to my
fellow observers confidently divulging how they're giving up fast food or
cussing, and I have to admit that I still haven't settled on my resolution. And
it gets harder every year because I've done all the big ones. Last year I even
gave up alcohol. To my mortification it wasn't particularly difficult, which
can only mean that I'm not the boozy delight I've always fancied myself.

]]> Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/man-looking.html
Most grown up women
would agree that we are over cheap jibes against men. You know the kind of
thing; lsquo;men have
the E.Q. of
a snail, they can drive an F1 car and run countries, but multi-tasking and
using a washing machine, are apparently beyond their wit.'


I suspect most women in
relationships have progressed from bitching about the irritating differences
between men and women and are doing their best to live with their partner,
warts and all.

Read More]]> Wed, 03 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/walk-of-shame.html
I
moved to The Bronx when I was twenty. I decided to leave Manhattan and share an
apartment in an Irish neighborhood with my best friend.


On
moving day we ascended the front stoop of the building with our boxes and bags,
and were greeted by the lovely old Irish ladies sitting there chatting away. I
thought to myself, lsquo;What a nice place to live, so welcoming.'

]]> Wed, 03 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/give-them-a-break.html Those of you in the US may identify with the crippling sense of shock we
in the UK are suffering on hearing the news that a young man in the public eye,
a top sporting professional, with truckloads of money and a track record in
dating or marrying very attractive women, has had the audacity to do what
countless numbers of unattractive, chubby, low paid, low achieving individuals
do on a regular basis; namely, have an affair.
Read More]]> Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-magic-girdle.html Abracadabra, alakazam, hocus
pocus and presto-chango. That's right, ladies. Step right up, step right up and
watch as I make two, no THREE, dress sizes disappear from your body in the
blink of an eye. Cloud of smoke Poof! Now, you see it, now you don't.
How did I do it, you ask Well, it's magic, of course. Body Magic.
]]> Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/my-new-life.html Having reduced my working hours from every waking moment
to zilch (yep zilch!), I suddenly
found I had time on my hands to meet friends for coffee, lunch and
leisurely shopping trips to indulge myself.
]]> Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/polite-my-ass.html First - let me preface my little tale by assuring you that I
was brought up right. I was raised to be civil. I open doors for people, put
coins in Santa's Christmas kettle and give up my seat on the bus to pregnant
women - even those I just think are pregnant - but turn out not to be... but that's another story entirely. I
am, what many would refer to as a lsquo;nice' person. I try. I really do.
Read More]]> Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/some-cheesecake-dear.html I once threw a cheesecake at my husband. Unfortunately my
aim wasn't very good and most of it hit the wall. Not surprisingly, I was the
one who cleaned it up so it wasn't quite as satisfying as it sounds.
]]> Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/an-extremely-goofy-date.html The only thing more frightening than, say, swimming with sharks, is
getting back into the dating scene again after twelve years. And no, I've never
swum with sharks. But for the first time in my life I'm thinking about it. It would
be a walk in the park after the taste of dating that I got as a mid-thirty
year-old.
Read More]]> Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-late-clare-taylor.html
It's
the end of the evening. There's nothing decent on TV, unless you count re-runs
of 'Friends' on E4 that I've watched a hundred times already. I have an early
start tomorrow, the dishwasher has already been unstacked, and the cereal bowls
have been laid out ready for breakfast to minimise fuss in the morning rush
(rock and roll, baby. You know it...)


So,
its time for bed, surely


Time
for bed, definitely. If, that is, I
were remotely sensible.

]]> Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-choice-continuum.html Ever noticed how, at
the end of a difficult relationship, you sometimes find yourself attracted to
the complete opposite of the man you just loved As if you've gone through the
looking glass and upside-down is the new rightside-up and backward is the new
forward
]]> Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/steamy-hot-and-pressurised.html
lsquo;How's yours' I ask my friend Wendy, as we compare notes over a coffee.


lsquo;OK. Except for this.' She lifts a corner of her blouse to show me a
small but vicious burn on her stomach.


lsquo;It happened again' I say, incredulous.


lsquo;Yes. Just like last time. Everything had been fine. It was a normal
Sunday evening. Suddenly, from nowhere, this awful eruption.'


They're strong, masterful and capable of inflicting pain and pleasure in
equal measure.


But don't get the wrong idea. We're not talking about men.

]]> Mon, 01 Feb 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/my-life-drawer.html We all have one.
Mine is in the kitchen. Yours might be in your bedroom or maybe even in the
bathroom. You know what I'm talking about. The junk drawer! That space which you
promise to keep organized. You're always going to be able to open and close it.
And at any given moment in time, you'll be able to rattle off an inventory of
its contents.
]]> Mon, 01 Feb 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/snow-for-brains.html
I live half way
up a mountain. Halfway up, rather than down, you'll note. In any case, half way
up is not a bad place to be. As the Grand Old Duke of York would say, it's
neither up nor down.

Read More]]> Mon, 25 Jan 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/public-transportation.html
Los Angeles is affectionately referred to as lsquo;the
city of angels' and not-so affectionately as lsquo;the city of carbon monoxide.'


This
is a place where everyone, no matter how financially-challenged, owns a car to travel
from one end to the other of an expansive town criss-crossed by freeways. And
now city officials are beseeching us to take public transit, carpool, cycle
(hang on while I pick myself up off the floor from a laughing fit; cyclists
become mysteriously invisible on the streets of a city where Car is God) - anything
to save the environment.

Read More]]> Mon, 25 Jan 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/thanks-forwhat.html
Christmas
is but a dim and distant memory. The tree is turning brown and crispy in the
garden, the full potential of the turkey has been exploited, your unwanted
presents are on eBay and the extra roll of flab around your girth is slowly beginning
to subside.


If you
are uber-organised, you will have kept a note of all the presents received at
Christmas, and will now be in a position to scribble a few appreciative words
of thanks.


If you
are totally disorganised (that's me,
folks!) you will now be in the rather more uncomfortable position of trying to
match up presents to people, and scratching your head thinking of a few bland,
non-committal words of gratitude for whatever the hell it was you received.

]]> Mon, 18 Jan 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/moving-on.html I'm not one to go around giving out unsolicited advice, but, if anyone
out there is considering moving house, my recommendation would be to think long
and hard about this idea, then send it away somewhere deep into the recesses of
your mind, put it under lock and key, and don't ever let the thought creep back
into your consciousness again. Why am I giving out this advice Because,
unfortunately, I'm living through it.
]]> Mon, 18 Jan 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-missing-gene.html
I have a
genetic defect.


It's not life-threatening or anything, and it has not actually
been officially diagnosed, but I know I have it. Didn't even need House, or Dr
Google to figure it out. When I think about it, it's been staring me in the
face all these years.


It's the
cleaning gene - one that I presume is normally attached to the X chromosome.
Well, mine is missing. Or defective.

]]> Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/genius-is-relative.html
I'm no genius, not by a long shot. Even in cases
where I'd like to be, and perhaps should be, my poor memory works against me.
But in some matters, being viewed as the resident genius is purely relative.


I work temp jobs, which means I go from office to
office filling in for employees who are out sick or on vacation. Presumably
they've kept their jobs for all those years based on a modicum of skill, but
when I come in with only one motive in mind - do my (simple) job, get my
paycheck, and move on - I am made to feel like the Einstein of the business
world.

Read More]]> Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/why-i-want-your-husband-mrs-lomax.html
Envy is not an attractive emotion. I'm not proud of it,
but I'm not going to lie, OK I envy a lot of women. I do. I admit it.


So,
who do I envy


Well,
I envy Elle Macpherson. She has a really nice first edition of Virginia Woolf's
lsquo;Mrs Dalloway.'


I envy
Madonna. She has discipline - can you imagine her wrestling with you over the
last Malteser No, me neither.

]]> Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/snaking-the-drain.html
What is it with men
and plumbing


A few weeks ago,
while taking a shower, I looked down and realized the water was slowly creeping
up to my ankles. As happens yearly in our house, the pipes were clogged with my
hair. It's thick, curly, coarse and determined to slip into the drain no matter
how hard I try to catch every single strand.


To me, this plumbing
issue is a total annoyance. To my husband, it's an earth shattering event right
up there with the Swine Flu and the recession.

Read More]]> Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/new-year-revolutionary.html
When
it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I used to agree with Bridget Jones. She
wrote in her best-selling diary,


lsquo;New Year's Resolutions can't technically be expected to
begin on New Year's Day...'


Hmmmm.
Go on Bridget.


'...it
would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the
second.'

]]> Mon, 28 Dec 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/made-to-be-broken.html
Quick. Without thinking,
answer this question: What is something that you make and then break without
even a second thought.


Well, if you
answered lsquo;A New Year's Resolution,' then you got it right.


How many times have
you made one of these ridiculous commitments, only to end up apologizing to yourself,
days or maybe even only hours later

]]> Mon, 28 Dec 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/mummy-are-you-lying-to-me.html
My pint-sized interrogator stares at me with ill-disguised
contempt. I fear my explanations lack the depth he requires. Why can't he just
ask his father


lsquo;Mum, are you listening I said, what if he comes down the
chimney when the fire is lit' He is frowning at me, waiting for a response.


But I
don't have an answer. I can't contradict what I've always told him: That Father
Christmas arrives in the middle of the night and lands his sleigh and reindeer
on the roof of the house and climbs down the chimney with his presents. I have
to think fast.

]]> Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/santa-sadism.html Ahhh...the visit to Santa Claus...it's as much
a part of this time of year as egg nog and that fruit cake that you use as a
makeshift door-stop. But when it comes down to it, who is it for anyway I
always thought the obvious answer to that was lsquo;your child.' But having done my
first visit to Santa with my son last year, I'm no longer sure.
Read More]]> Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/in-defence-of-winter.html Even the
most cursory glance through the poetry books will reveal a selection of praise
for the various seasons of the year. Keats' lsquo;Ode to Autumn' talks of a season of mists and mellow
fruitfulness; Robert Frost's lsquo;Nothing
Gold Can Stay' laments the short-lived nature of Spring; and
Shakespeare wooed his mystery lady by comparing her to that most lovely of
things, a Summer's day. You might have to look a bit closer, though, to find
much defence of Winter. Season of driving to and from work in the dark Thou
art as lovely as getting up extra early to scrape the ice from your car
windscreen
Read More]]> Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/do-they-know-its-christmas.html Now the first time it happened, I almost didn't mind. I was so excited
that finally I was getting to make a costume, that I just went with the flow. But
when it happened the following year, and the one after that, and plenty more
since, well, it's started to piss me off. Because, what place does a Hawaiian
Hula Dancer, an octopus, a polar bear and a spangly fish have in the Nativity
]]> Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/boast-by-post.html It's that time of year again. The day when the first Christmas card arrives.
I love Christmas cards, but the first always brings out my ability to
out-Scrooge the man himself. Without exception it is from the same person, an
unnecessarily large offering with a printed address label, posted earlier than
anyone else's. I don't have to open it to know the contents. It will feature a
Victorian winter scene - usually with lots of forlorn looking sheep and a very
cold shepherd plodding through snow. Inside, the printed greeting always says
the same thing and out will fall the Boast by Post.
]]> Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/snakes-alive.html
It's Sunday evening out in the back of beyond of Oklahoma. I'm relaxed with
a sleeping cat in my lap, a gentle rain pitter-pattering against my insulated
windows, and my greatest concern is whether we might get the predicted snowfall
overnight.


The local news comes on and in an instant my peaceful life is shattered by a
headline, lsquo;Why you need to be on the lookout for snakes in your homes.' As we
Brits say lsquo;bloody hell you've got to be kidding me, itlsquo;s December!'

]]> Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/going-postal.html
I have just received my first Christmas card of 2009.


Every year, like the first Fererro Rocher TV advert, it turns up
ridiculously early. Always from the same people. Why they feel it necessary to
send seasonal greetings in November, I will never know. Perhaps it's to give
slackers like myself more time to get organised and return the sentiment.

]]> Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/say-cheese.html Before I had kids
I swore I would never be one of lsquo;those' moms who sent out Christmas cards with
pictures of their kids on the front. I enjoyed the festive photos Hallmark had
to offer, of snowmen and Santas, even a picture of Jesus was just alright with
me. However I dreaded getting pictures of other people's kids in some corny
outfit, posing in front of a fake fireplace, or at the beach in shorts and
Santa hats. Was all this really necessary just to wish someone a Merry
Christmas And anyway, what was I
supposed to do with all those photos of overdressed children forcing a smile
for the camera Save them in a photo album marked lsquo;people I only see at
Christmas,' or toss them out with the fruit cake I must admit, I'm guilty of
the...]]> Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/eleven-plus-what.html It's that time of year again. For my son anyway. Yes, the 11+ exam is
upon us. Three Grammar school entrance tests to go before Christmas. Of course
he's really entitled to a different type of exam. It should be called Test
Papers for Kids Who Can Only Be Arsed to Work When They Feel Like It. A special
and separate exam room for that grim Saturday morning when half the country's 11-year-olds
are lining up outside some grey bricked school or other.
]]> Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/holy-crap-i-am-my-mother.html
I
grew up with one of those mothers you absolutely adore, but also cringe a
bit when she shows up in any situation that requires you to look at least
slightly cool. In a word, my mom is lsquo;eccentric.'


Much
to my dismay at times, she was a teacher at the Catholic school that I attended
as a child. Don't get me wrong - everyone loved my mom, including those kids I
went to school with back then. But there's no way around how embarrassing she could
be at times.

]]> Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/proceed-to-50-with-caution.html It is a
truth universally acknowledged that there are precious few decent single men
over 50. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of delightful, charming and sexy
men in their 50s, but they are all happily married. A few are still quaintly
married to their first wife. A good deal more have divorced the first and even
second wife and are now smugly living with a younger and thinner second or
third wife.
]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/date-from-hell.html Dating new people is always a learning experience. Not
about your date; about yourself. No matter whether it's a good experience or a
bad one, I always find that I walk away knowing myself just a little bit
better, because after all, every time you reveal something about yourself you
have the opportunity to examine that characteristic and to make a change if
desired. I had considered myself an on-the-fence agnostic for many years...until
I met Justin, who made me see the light.
]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/la-f.html
I live in a very remote, rural area. Human population per
square kilometre: 21. Sheep and other less amenable critters outnumber us in
their bestial swarms. Fresh air, sunshine, the unspoilt beauty of nature; all
in plentiful supply, all available, all very nice.


In London, where I used to live, they managed to cram
4,761 bodies into a square kilometre. How did we all fit into such a tight
space


But hang on a minute. Didn't I used to be a fully
signed-up metropolista Didn't I used to rather like clothes and things Didn't
I once work in the chi-chi surroundings of Old Bond Street, clouded in
expensive scents, surrounded by killer heels and mortgaged-handbags Didn't
there used to be this thing in my life that began with...]]> Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/lucky-numbers.html
My mother lives in Scotland and I live in the United States. She thinks
she's 92. Whenever I inform her that she's 95, she still insists she's 92.


She hasn't called me in two years. I'm the one who does the calling. Our
conversations go along like this:


lsquo;Mother, it's me. How are you'


lsquo;I'm still here. Still know who I'm talking to.'


lsquo;Who are you talking to'


lsquo;I'm talking to you.'


lsquo;Who am I


Silence.

Read More]]> Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/in-by-thursday.html
Our kitchen looks showroom-good for about 10 seconds a year;
generally when we're out. It was during one of these brief nano-moments over the
school holidays, when I said to my 12-year-old son, in full expectation of a
breezy negative, lsquo;So, tell me, Archie, have you any holiday homework to do'


lsquo;No,' he said, with a Julia Roberts' smile. lsquo;Well, apart from
making a castle.'


My world spun. The Parthenon nearly killed us in Year 3.

]]> Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-personal-time-bank.html With the end of Daylight
Savings and the clocks changing for winter, I've been thinking a lot about
Time. You know that elusive concept that always seems to pass too slowly when
you're young and way too fast once you've crossed the half century mark of your
life. I mean, really. One minute you're walking down the aisle wearing a silk
gown for a big ceremony, and the next you're being wheeled down the corridor wearing
a paper gown for a small colonoscopy.
Read More]]> Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/halloween-toussaint-whatever.html
The French are universally known for their loud-mouthed
tendencies. Quiet acceptance of imperfection is not an option. Explosive
fulmination is the only way. If you have ever witnessed the savage apoplexy of
a dissatisfied French diner, you will know exactly what I mean.


It
ain't pretty.

]]> Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/bedroom-actsof-murder.html I don't normally condone murder, but sometimes I
truly envision stabbing my husband in the head. Maybe just with a rubber
knife, but even that would feel so good. So what is it that drives me to
vengeful extremes Has my husband cheated on me No, that would definitely
require a stainless steel 12-incher. Did he beat the dog No, he's
kind to our mutt. It all comes down to what happens in the bedroom after dark.
]]> Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/how-do-i-hate-thee-let-me-count-the-ways.html
Those
of us in Blighty-Land are heading irrevocably into autumn, marching helplessly
into dark days.


With
September having ceded to October, some may say it's already here. Not me. I'm
in denial. You can keep your season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, it's all
a con, merely winter's waiting room, so my ankles might be cold, but the
sandals are still on. For I hate autumn. Loathe. Abhor. Fingers in the ears,
La-La-La.

]]> Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/big-blue.html Right before hosting an autumn gathering for
my family, my husband took down what my daughter refers to as our lsquo;trailer park
trash, big blue, blow up' swimming
pool. I happen to fancy my big blue, trailer park trash, blow up pool. I grieve
for it when it is drained and deflated and put away in the barn for the winter.
I have had blissful times in my blow up pool, contemplating life; splashing
around in the water, with not a care in the world; feeling the therapeutic heat
of the sun against my sore, achy arthritic muscles and joints. It's better than
narcotics.
Read More]]> Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/teachers-are-jammy-devils-arent-they.html It is a
truth pretty much universally acknowledged that teachers are jammy devils when
it comes to holidays. Every July my normally supportive group of (non-teaching)
friends turns upon me, unable to resist barbed comments concerning the sheer unfairness
of six weeks continuous holiday, during which time they no doubt imagine me
reclining on a chaise-longue delicately sipping cocktails. Come September,
their smugness is palpable, as they gloat over the thought of my return to
work.
Read More]]> Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/theres-no-place-like-home.html
Your children are
grown. Your house is nice and
quiet. So, when your boss offers you the
opportunity to work from home, you want to jump on it, right What
could be more ideal No traffic. No one looking over your shoulder. No
dressing to impress co-workers. No make-up. No problem.

Well, as one who has
worked from home for many years, let me go over the pros and cons with you
before you make that all important decision.
]]> Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/teenager-tips.html
I have to
confess, I'm finding this whole lsquo;parent of teenagers' phase a bit of a
challenge. The rolled eyes. The huffing and puffing. The stomping around. Sound
familiar I don't know about you, but
according to my teenagers there is not much I'm doing right.


If it
wasn't so much trouble, they'd probably write a guide: 'How to be a better parent.' Not that it would happen in a hurry.
Like getting them to hang up their towels, sign off from MySpace, or help
around the house without being asked.


So here's
one I've pieced together myself, based on the feedback I've been getting. It
might be of use to those of you who are getting it all so wrong as well.

Read More]]> Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/pg-37.html Once upon a time,
parents would raise their kids to grow up and be self-sufficient adults in a
world where sufficiency really was enough. And the unspoken (or, depending on the
guilt-factor in your family, very spoken) agreement was that when the
parents got old, the roles would be reversed and ma and pa would get to retire
early and have to listen to their kids lecture: 'when I'm your age...' Add a few dragons and princesses and you've got
yourself a fairy tale, because that is not a reality that I'm familiar with.
]]> Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/dinner-party-dilemmas.html
If, like me, you were middle class and grew up in the 1970's
I would bet good money that dinner parties were a frequent occurrence in your
parents' lives.

Often work-related, they would require the best china and
glass to be pulled out of mothballs, ashtrays to be emptied in preparation, and
the hostess tray or trolley to be freed of the detritus of post and clutter
that had accumulated on top of it, wiped down, and fired up.
]]> Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/ocd-entertainer-of-the-year.html Remember the old days when it used to be
fine to throw out a bag of chips (using a bowl was lsquo;fancy') and a case of beer
and that constituted a party As I recall, people were just happy to have a
place to convene and, as they say, lsquo;tie one on.' Usually, the night entailed
lots of dancing and some sort of game that resulted in chugging beer - many times
upside down from a keg. We didn't know it then, but those were the days.
]]> Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-good-the-bad-and-the-suburbs.html
Have family.
Sell flat. Move to suburbs. That was the agenda and I can proudly say we've
ticked every box.


And, God, is
it boring.


I bought my
flat because it was the only one I could afford without selling one of my
kidneys. Once I'd paid my mortgage I couldn't afford to go out, but this didn't
matter because the street life on my doorstep was to die for, and, as testified
by the bodies dumped in the nearby giant wheelie bins, people frequently did.


Other areas
may be famed for their street parties or window boxes. Ours, on the other hand,
was known for its fanatical devotion to crime. It wasn't careful drivers we
welcomed, but lowlife, always with open arms, as this was the best way to...]]> Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/crystal-vase-or-an-ex-wife.html
I am recently married, smashing all
statistics for a woman my age - so huzzah for us. At 59-years of age women
supposedly can't throw a boulder the size of London and hit an available,
straight, working, handsome, sexy, male who looks at us with both love and lust
for anything other than our hefty bank balance. I won the jackpot. We were in
love 34 years ago and he told me to go away. I did, and had many adventures. He
came back into my life in August 2008 after the dissolvere of a twenty-year marriage. We had the wedding 6 June
2009.


Along with my husband and his two
teenage children, whom I already love, there was a surprise package - a
steely-eyed, prune-faced (more attitude than physical), short blonde with an
unwavering line... Read More]]> Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/house-rules.html When Redundancy comes knocking on the door of your husband's smart,
shiny office, it's a fraught time, and not just in terms of worries
about paying the mortgage, the bills, and how to support your expensive
addiction to designer shoes and Green amp; Black's chocolate.
]]> Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/security-is-a-superstition.html The irony of security is that it
doesn't come with a guarantee, unlike your Maytag French Door Refrigerator. I
found that out after putting in six years of faithful service at a large
corporation and then being rewarded by being kicked to the curb for lsquo;budgetary
reasons'. I cynically put that in quotes because if the boss of the company had
sold just one of the Persian rugs hanging on his office wall, it could have
paid my salary for another three or four years.
]]> Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/feminism-back-flip.html After years in the workforce, Corrina feels that society undervalues the role of homemaker.
]]> Mon, 07 Sep 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/dont-be-late-for-school-dear.html Age isn't anything but a number. Even when it comes to going back to school at 48.
]]> Mon, 07 Sep 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/breaking-the-mould.html
I have a confession.





I have mould. Here's what I did about it.

]]> Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/age-doesnt-matter-unless-you-are-cheese.html
As a 37 year-old
woman with one divorce and a half dozen or so failed relationships in my pocket
(mixed right in with the lint-covered breath mints and tear-soaked tissues), I
hadn't yet given up looking for my Ideal Guy.


Is younger the answer

]]> Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/friends-or-frenemies.html A frenemy, for those lucky enough to escape them, is a friend who is also an
enemy.
]]> Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/what-is-a-soulmate.html
'Soulmate.' The word conjures
up all kinds of romantic ideas. As young girls, we heard fairy tales about
what a girl had to go through in order to find The One.





Ridiculous.

]]> Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/child-free-holidays.html Having kids changed everything. While many words, lsquo;sex' and lsquo;sleep' among
them, took on ironic new meanings, none had a crueller ring than
lsquo;holiday.'
]]> Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/hubris-in-the-air.html Attendants: The
terrorists of the world have given this small group of people who had no power
before 9/11 - a form of ultimate power.
]]> Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/men-mid-life-and-me.html
When I was younger I was categorical about many things. The Berlin
Wall Nah, that's never coming down. A black president in the US Oh
please. Men and mid-life crises Well that's just a timeworn clicheacute;.

Ok, so I got the Berlin Wall and the Obama thing wrong. And then the
male mid-life crisis came to my house. If I crane my neck and look out
of the window, I can see it. British racing green, wire spoke wheels
and only...
]]> Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/automotively-challenged.html The only time I would advise a woman to stay with her boyfriend or
husband who snored, refused to pick up after himself, performed in bed
as though trying to cure her insomnia, and maybe even cheated on
her would be if he were automotively inclined.
]]> Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-crock-of-betty.html
I read through my Mom's old Betty Crocker cookbook recently and it was a pretty enlightening experience.


So that's why I don't know how to cook!

]]> Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/kitchens-closed.html If you are feeling fed up with churning out meals to an unappreciative
audience, why not just down utensils Let them fall back on their own
resources. See what happens.
]]> Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/why-didnt-someone-tell-me.html I always thought that lsquo;pre-teenage' was a concept made up by trashy
clothing manufacturers so they could sell crop tops and pseudo-sexy
underwear to nine year olds. Then my nine year old - in sensible Marks
amp; Spencer underwear - discovered hormones.
]]> Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/mothers-and-daughters.html
Last year my daughter wrote a scathing report about me, for one of her English
classes, regarding my feminist leanings, which, apparently, (gasp!) she
views as anathema.


I guess that's natural, though

]]> Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/passion-vs-stability.html Are you different from your partner Don't worry, there's hope.
]]> Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/embracing-my-inner-dag.html Sometimes, no change is the most exciting thing of all.
]]> Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/a-summer-of-fun-it-aint.html It is week one of the summer holidays and I am perplexed. At what point did I take my eye off the ball and raise monsters
]]> Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/bachelorette-bonanzas.html There's nothing better than a good Bachelorette party. While the
debauchery involved in the Bachelor parties gets a lot more attention,
women can definitely salute their single days with the best of them.
But I have noticed that the nature of these parties is changing as I
get older.
]]> Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/marriage-after-marriage.html Marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
]]> Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/my-fantasy-secretary.html Have you ever had a fantasy where you got to boss somebody around I have, and it was good.
Read More]]> Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/so-what-do-you-do.html
What do you do'

That is typically the first question people ask when I am introduced to
them - and it annoys the hell out of me, because I know I am expected
to supply an occupation. A career, even. Why is this the first thing
people want to know about me


]]> Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/the-terrible-inexcusable-thing-that-i-do.html Sometimes, when I drink, I offer advice that's not exactly...wanted. But babies are good for people!
]]> Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/crisis-what-crisis.html Mid-life crises don't really exist. It's just a convienent term for people who don't want to confront the fact that they're in their mid-40's and their lives suck.
]]> Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/matchlesscom.html I tried online dating. It was interesting...
]]> Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/not-such-a-fond-farewell.html It's always hard when a beloved parents goes. What happens if they weren't so beloved
]]> Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:02:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/real-women-change-diapers-apparently.html I know I'm supposed to want children, but lucky for the world, I still really don't.
]]> Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:01:00 +0000 http://www.powderroomgraffiti.com/live-it/lets-do-the-time-warp-again.html Some styles are out of fashion for a reason.
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