Tracey - Comments

I have absolutely no intention of being one of those parents wanting their 20 something kids to stay. Even their 18+ kids. I love that you've laid out all the positives. I still remember being that age and needing my independence, and I intend to allow my girls to have that without laying on the 'don't moooove' guilt that some parents seem to do. (I just hope I don't have to prise them out!)

That's one of those "recent studies" that I like :)

My last few pap smears (and a couple of other intrusive gyno procedures) have been done at either a Women's Health Centre, or by the lovely female gyno that I travelled 2 and a half hours each way to see. (The latter even apologised any time she thought it was even the least bit painful) I don't think women nurses or doctors are necessarily more gentle (a female GP years ago probably wins at having been the roughest pap smear taker/doer - and the male midwife who delivered #2 definitely wins hands down as the best midwife of all baby deliveries) - but after some rough treatment at the hands of the last Obstetrician who stitched me up after #3, and a slightly creepy male radiologist who operated the dil... I mean internal vaginal ultrasound thingie, I'm over seeing males for all that stuff.

I'm nodding along as I read this - which means I'm there alongside you in the trenches. Too many Other Children who interrupt, have no manners, can't behave in restaurants, and are generally bloody annoying. We've been hard on our kids but it seems to have paid off - at least when they're out.
It's definitely a challenge 'disciplining' undisciplined kids when they're at your house. Don't start me!!

This is what you need for the periodic table - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F42ss8&feature=player_embedded (My 16 yr old daughter started trying to learn that song. Pity she didn't show any interest in actual chemistry at school!) I think it's a sign of my age that I couldn't even be bothered attempting to learn it!

Me too!

I've always been proud of the fact that I do know how to change a wheel (except that I haven't really kept up with the location of the jack, wheel brace etc with successive vehicles owned.) My big anxiety is that the last time the wheels were put on were with a bloody machine, and consequently me + a mere wheel brace just can't budge the bloody wheel nuts.

I would say that both Himself and I are about on par when it comes to not remembering where we've put stuff, so he would be quite justified in being miffed at this generalisation about 'a man's look'.
We have a saying when we go through the 'looking' debacle that 'It's always in the first place you looked', because it's a pretty common occurrence to just not look properly the first time, to turn the place upside down, and then find it eventually the first place you looked, only you didn't look properly!
Why he drives me nuts is that he's like a bear with a sore head till he finds what he's looking for, and I'm expected to drop everything and help.
And what drives us both nuts is the 'kids' look'. They DEFINITELY can't find see what's under their nose.

Apart from the image of Elizabeth in Pirates of the Caribbean faiting and falling off a cliff because of the corset, I too am underwhelmed. So you can look slimmer - but at what price? Never mind the dollars - feeling sick all evening the whole time isn't my idea of a bargain.
I'm with you. I'd be better off spending the money on a personal trainer. It'd be a damn sight healthier too, I'm sure!

Just a note, I said 'better to say something'.. not '... something dumb'. I don't think people grieving need 'dumb' things said at all. By dumb, I mean the platitudes, and this strange imperative to find some 'reason' to make you feel 'better'.

I like your suggestions for ideas on how to respond to the age question, freshwidow.

It's ironic, isn't it, that you're the most sensitive when the grief is still raw - and you have to handle other bloody people.

And Jean, I'm sorry, in my first comment, I didn't say what I should have said. I'm sorry about your Dad. I hope you and all your family are coping as best as you can.