Mel - Comments

I'm allergic to cats and my mother-in-law has never forgiven me for the time that I joked in a letter that perhaps she should decapitate the cat before I next come to visit. The letter arrived on the day the cat was diagnosed with cancer and had to be put down. It has become The Subject That May Not Be Mentioned. I'm very sorry for your loss, do YOU want to get another one?!

Don't you wear woolly tights with fake fur panties over the top?

Under the tights? Noooo, that's so last year dahling!

Eew! Eew! I hate the pap smear, although this one sounded very entertaining. In France they do all of the above, but the best bit is when they give you the cervical sample floating around in liquid and tell you to pop it in the nearest post box on your way out! Triple eew!

Oh. So cheap-looking fake fur Speedo worn over woolly tights ISN'T a good look? Damn that stylist... You know I would be rather disappointed if all the stars stopped their plastic surgery, I do find it fascinating to watch a surgically mangled face trying to express surprise. And I enjoy wondering if Simon Cowell's forehead will ever move again. It's all part of the rich and famous freak show. And you have to remember the advisor-to-star power balance; one wrong word and that advisor is out of a job. Leave the botox junkies to their fate that's what I say!

That's a brilliant story, and I love his line about thinking there was one of you on every corner! Congrats Lady M x

Drunk Mummy, we are just smiling politely and pretending you didn't say that.


The yoga thing sounds bizarre, of course I immediately tried to do what you said, (the bit with the arms, I couldn't be bothered to stand up) and then was alarmed to find my arms are so stiff I can barely reach my opposing earlobes! I am clearly a rigid old crone and that is concerning me far more than this yoga technique! But your research clearly shows that it doesn't work, although is it supposed to make you more intelligent or less forgetful? Maybe you've actually acquired the IQ of Einstein without realising? You've been too focused on the mundane crap when you could have been mapping the human genome in your sleep! Go Janie Go!

Brilliant, grown-up you! I'm in awe. And your last sentence made me giggle with anticipation. My mind has already raced ahead to the sublime, snake-hipped (dancing I mean) Venezuelan. Thank-you so much for giving me a true-life Mills and Boon to read, they always have a happy ending, I'm really hoping that your story does too.

Vivacious V that is a winning idea! Now where would we get stickers like that...

Hmm, you missed out the other thing that men might do in unison, I'll leave you to figure out which thing I mean! This happened to me when I shared a flat with another girl, we were synchronised to the very same day. Very spooky.