Surveying the Damage

Yes - it is all your fault

Another day, another survey that aims to pit working mothers against their stay-at-home counterparts, This one is about the children of working mothers being fatter, spottier and more moronic than those of non-working mothers. Or something like that. I can't really remember.

So, are you ready ladies? In the red corner we have all you pushy ambitious bitches who can't wait to palm your babies onto hatchet-faced East European teenagers - while shoving doughnuts into their tiny mouths to stifle their weeping. And in the blue corner we have you lazy half-witted saps who willingly turn your children into over-indulged despots that develop a rash if they even sniff a non-organic carrot.

Seconds Out - Round One! Ding ding!

Come on...fight! What's the matter with you? Fight dammit!

What do you mean you've ‘had enough'? Maybe you've been drinking too much red wine - which according to a recent survey is likely to give you breast cancer (or does it protect you from heart disease?). You're tired? Perhaps you haven't been doing enough high impact exercise - which according to a recent survey is likely to have landed you with osteoporosis (or will it damage your aging joints?). Your back hurts? That's probably the result of too much coffee - which according to a recent survey can lead to kidney damage (or does it delay the onset of Alzheimer's?).

So come on ladies - you're supposed to either sharpen your claws or your neuroses. Which is it to be this week?