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The Power Behind the Sleigh

The Power Behind the Sleigh

PRG talks to Mrs Claus

by Janie Emaus (Fri Nov 20, 2009)

During this time of the year one man in particular starts to get all the attention. Yes, Santa Claus is no stranger to the limelight, but as we all know, behind every successful man stands an even more successful, understanding and brilliant woman. So who is Mrs Claus? And how does she feel about the supportive role she plays in the life of her husband?   

I caught up with the season's most unsung heroine a few days ago at the Red Nose Saloon where she was taking a break from programming a GPS system for her husband. Over a few extra dry martinis, she happily agreed to give me this exclusive interview.

JE:  So, tell me Mrs. Claus, what's it like being married to a Seasonal Superstar?

Mrs. Claus:  Well, to be quite honest, it's far from jolly. I've tried putting him on a diet but every year I swear, I have to add another panel to his goddamn suit. It's bad enough that I have to work for months to get rid of the smoky smell. If he insists on going down chimneys, I don't know why he won't wear the dark suit I made for him.

JE: So, this is a very busy time for you, I gather. 

Mrs. Claus:  You don't know the half of it. I much prefer Valentine's day. That's when we have the entire Pole all to ourselves. If you know what I mean.

JE: Yes, I can tell by your smile that you haven't lost that lovin' feeling. Was it love at first sight between the two of you?

At this question, Mrs. Claus laughed like a hyena before answering.

Mrs. Claus:  It was actually his lap which drew me to him. I fell in love at first bounce. Right then, I knew we were soul mates.

JE: So what is your typical day like at this time of year?

Mrs. Claus:  Well, I usually get up around 6:30. Put on a pot of coffee. Check emails. Then I go to the mailroom and make sure it's all running smoothly before heading over to the workshop. Around 8:30, I wake up his highness, who claims he needs his beauty rest this time of year. Like anyone even sees him making his deliveries!

JE:  Do you help with the toy production?

Mrs. Claus:  Most definitely. But even more importantly, if it weren't for me, the presents wouldn't be delivered on time.

JE:  Why is that?

Mrs. Claus:  Because I'm just now perfecting his new GPS system. Like any man, he's so darn stubborn, he won't stop and ask for directions. Every year he gets lost somewhere around the tropics.

JE:  So, not only are you a seamstress but a computer programmer as well? You're quite an amazing woman. What other talents to you have up your sleeve?

Mrs. Claus:  Well, along with longitudes and latitudes I'm adding a few attitude reminders to the system. You know, little sayings such as... ‘Keep smiling. You're halfway there. I'll be waiting up for you. Keep on sleddin. I've been a good girl, so let's get naughty when you get back.' Anything to  stop him slugging back too much sherry and homemade cookies on his rounds.

JE:  Sounds like you pretty much run the show on Christmas Eve.

Mrs. Claus:  I'm a Taurus, you know. But I'm not as stubborn as they say. I just like things done my way. And my way makes Christmas Eve a success...year after year after year.

JE:  What do you do in your spare time? That is if you have any.

Mrs. Claus:  I've started a blog. Tonight I'm chatting about Men with Beards and The Women Who Love Them. You should log on. You know, you might learn a thing or two.

At this point in our interview her cell phone rang playing the song ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.'

JE: I like your ring tone.

Mrs. Claus:  Well, actually, it has a different meaning for me than the rest of the world.

JE:  I'm sure it does.

Mrs. Claus:  Look I'm really sorry - I have to go. The elves have downed tools once again. He has no idea how to manage them properly - won't accept that they are fully unionised now. You can't have them working all through the night any more. Men. They all think they are so smart. The trick, which really isn't all that hard, is to make them think they're the ones making the decisions.

JE:  No problem. Perhaps we can continue this another time? I know there are a lot of women who could benefit from your wisdom.

Mrs. Claus:  It would be my pleasure. I'll check my BlackBerry and get back to you.

With that Mrs. Claus downed her martini in one gulp, and headed back to work. Her husband might be the one getting all the glory, but clearly without Mrs. Claus, Christmas morning wouldn't be quite the way we know it.

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Posted Fri Dec 11, 2009 at 7:29 pm Reply Delete
Wonderful interview, Janie! Really funny and clever, GODDAMIT! :)Report Abuse
Jeri
Posted Thu Nov 26, 2009 at 8:51 pm Reply Delete
Loved it...Can't wait to see what else Mrs Claus has to divulge.Report Abuse
Posted Tue Nov 24, 2009 at 10:33 pm Reply Delete
Love it. And I think it's appropriately ironic that Mrs Claus lets a bit of 'language' slip. (Mind you, it didn't even make a blip on my down under radar..). I often wonder what Christ would think of the whole Santa thing anyway...Report Abuse
Toni
Posted Tue Nov 24, 2009 at 9:25 pm Reply Delete
I like the "Santa is coming to town" comment the best. LOL This was great! I'm going to print it and share with my co-workers. It's definitely a different perspective on what goes on the rest of the year with Santa & Mrs Clause. Although, it really could have done without the "G..D.." Nevertheless, a great piece!!Report Abuse
Posted Tue Nov 24, 2009 at 4:44 pm Reply Delete
The elves are unionised?! I love it! Great piece, Janie.Report Abuse
Bobbi
Posted Mon Nov 23, 2009 at 4:37 am Reply Delete
Wow I had no idea Mrs Claus says the G - D word. I thought she was suppossed to be all about Christ, so I think that interview cant be her.Report Abuse
raeshapiro
Posted Mon Nov 23, 2009 at 3:37 am Reply Delete
What a great idea! And you pulled it off with wit and humor! Great interview!Report Abuse
Vikki
Posted Sun Nov 22, 2009 at 9:55 pm Reply Delete
Mrs. Claus has what it takes to keep Christmas together! You Rock Mrs. Claus and brava to our Blog journalist who was so successful in knabbing Mrs. Claus for an interview, now that's power!Report Abuse
Posted Sun Nov 22, 2009 at 5:45 pm Reply Delete
Behind every man is an even better woman...of course! LOL! Love it!Report Abuse
Pam
Posted Sun Nov 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm Reply Delete
Mrs. Claus has been my idol for many years now. After all, here is a woman who is comfortable with her curves, bakes a mean cookie, AND keeps one of the world's most famous guys on his toes. Besides, you've gotta love a woman who sneaks out for a lunchtime martini. Reminds me of someone.... Great interview, Janie! Thank you for the holiday chuckles!!Report Abuse
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 3:43 pm Reply Delete
Santa's lap is anything but ordinary.Report Abuse
Arlie Holland
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 8:08 am Reply Delete
Loved the blog. Why should Santa be any different than any other man??? The successful ones always have a powerful woman beside them.Report Abuse
Autumn Jordon
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 6:27 am Reply Delete
You had me at his lap. Too funny. Cute blog. Autumn Jordon www.autumnjordon.comReport Abuse
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 3:16 am Reply Delete
Terry - Yes, Mrs. Claus is just a regular woman like you and me, who just happens to be married to a Superstar.Report Abuse
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 2:00 am Reply Delete
Mel - Mrs. Claus agrees with you completely.Report Abuse
Terry
Posted Sat Nov 21, 2009 at 1:23 am Reply Delete
YEAH, it's nice to know that Mrs. Claus living in the North Pole has a life very much like my own.Report Abuse
Tina
Posted Fri Nov 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm Reply Delete
Hysterical, Janie! I'm going to send this link to some of my friends who I know will enjoy it, too!Report Abuse
LindaO
Posted Fri Nov 20, 2009 at 4:15 pm Reply Delete
That interview is absolutely adorable, Janie. I'd now love to meet Mrs. Claus!Report Abuse
Neicy
Posted Fri Nov 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm Reply Delete
I loved this it truly has added to my excitement about the holiday season.Report Abuse
Mel
Posted Fri Nov 20, 2009 at 10:51 am Reply Delete
I've always thought it incredible that so much was accomplished in one night by an apparent bumbling buffoon of a man, (all that getting stuck up the chimney rubbish, he's been doing it for long enough...). Thank-you so much Janie for clearing up the mystery, of COURSE there's a Mrs Claus. How else would the presents be delivered as a rush job at 5am because Santa fell asleep half cut on the sofa?Report Abuse

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