An Interview with Maggie, Dammit

Writer, and founder of Violence UnSilenced

Maggie is someone who truly believes in the power of speaking out, and telling it like it is. Not only is she an accomplished writer and much-loved blogger, but earlier this year she set up Violence UnSilenced - a website where victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse can tell their stories, and help each other get access to the support they need. Maggie believes that talking widely about these issues strips abusers of their favourite weapons: secrecy and shame.

She encourages everyone to support the bravery of the women who speak out about their personal experiences of abuse, by leaving supportive comments on the Violence UnSilenced website. As the website editor and moderator, she is witness to many harrowing stories, but the kindness and honesty which shine out from her own writing make her a robust ambassador for this worthwhile cause.

The Basics

1.    Name

Maggie, dammit

2.    Web/Blog address if applicable

www.okayfinedammit.com

www.violenceunsilenced.com

3.    Where do you live?

I live in this gorgeous pocket of Wisconsin, within driving distance to Madison but fifteen minutes from even the nearest gas station. Nice and isolated, just the way I like it.

a.       Are you from there originally?

I went to high school in the town fifteen minutes away, yes.

b.      Where else have you lived?

I have lived in several towns throughout Wisconsin, but never in another state.

a.    Partner?

b.    Kids?

I started dating my husband a month shy of my 17th birthday (GASP), and we have been together 17 years (married 12.) We have two daughters, ages 9 and 4.

5.    Job?

a.    How long?

b.    What other jobs have you had?

I sold advertising for 13 years before becoming a full-time freelance writer in February 2006. I added blogging in 2007, and developed Violence UnSilenced in 2009.

The Tough Ones

1.    Summarize your entire life in 10 words or less.

Teeter totter between active engagement and hermitage, always seeking balance.

I rent a small studio space in town for my writing, and my days are wholly driven by deadlines. Sometimes I have a bunch of them and sometimes I have none. I am home by 4pm each day for my daughters, and when I'm home I like to stay there. We travel all the time but I prefer to stay put.

3.    Tell us about the person that has had the most profound impact on your life:

a.    During the last five years

b.    From the very beginning

a. In the last five years, I would have to say Brennan Nardi. She is the editor of Madison Magazine, and she gave me my first big break. She believes in me, and because of her influence I have come a long way in believing in myself. She's also just a really cool person, and she's become a good friend.

b. I am the perfect amalgamation of my parents. As individuals they are very different from each other, and I often feel like I am fused right down the middle - one half of me is my mom and one half of me is my dad. I have my mom's creativity, her capacity for empathy, and her warmth. I have my dad's analytical mind, his way with words, his perfectionism and his propensity for anonymous giving. I'm at war with myself all the time. ;)
 

4.    What is the greatest trauma you have ever experienced in your life and how did that impact you?

I was in a terrible car accident when I was 19, and it continues to affect me to this day - not at all physically, but definitely emotionally. There are almost too many ways to count. One big thing is I get very panicky if I feel like I'm not in control. Another way is a new found sense of what it's like to walk through this world without a disability or disfigurement. For lack of a better word, I was ‘ugly' for about two months after my accident. It still shocks me to this day how differently I was treated, the way I was dismissed or gaped at or judged. I feel like it's an understanding I never would have had before. I don't think I hate my body as much as many of my female friends do. Sure, I'd like to improve, but I'm also really grateful to walk where I need to walk, and to fade into a crowd.
 

5.    What is the greatest joy or achievement you have ever experienced in your life and how did that impact you?

I am most proud of my daughters. I'm grateful I was able to have them, and I love the little thrills that come every day with knowing they are good people. I try not to talk about them online too much but they rule my every moment.

6.    Let's pretend your life is a blank slate for 1 year - no partner, kids, job, baggage of any sort. You can reinvent yourself completely and take a year to do exactly what you want without any consequence to your current life. How would you spend that year?

I would go live next to the ocean and write a book. Without a doubt.
 

7.    What (if anything) are you able to do better now than at any other time in your life?

I am better able to sort out what matters and what doesn't. It's still a process, but it seems to come easier now. I have the tools to talk myself through things, to say hey, will you really care a month from now what that awful woman said about your weight? What he said about your writing? What she said behind your back? I am much more solid in myself now, and because of that I enjoy my relationships more.

Rapid Fire

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