by Jay (Tue Nov 24, 2009)
‘Catch it, bin it, kill it' is what we are being encouraged to do, as
swine flu paranoia, if not swine flu itself, sweeps the country.
Our Government is encouraging us to sneeze
and blow into paper tissues, or, as they put it in such simple, accessible
English, ‘practise correct respiratory and hand hygiene when coughing and
sneezing, to prevent the spread of germs particularly during the cold and flu
season.'
I for one will not be stuffing my handbag full of those nasty little
packets of tissues. Not for me that revolting instant damp disintegration in
the hand, followed by fumbling for a hand mirror to pick bits of tissue off my
nose. No siree. No Government brow-beating will ever part me from my good old-fashioned
hankies.
Tissue manufacturers must be jumping for joy at this latest
campaign. And waste disposal companies holding their heads in their hands. OK
of course we don't want inconsiderate folk spraying everyone else with their
germs. But I just don't see why we should be encouraged to produce more waste
when we could ‘catch it' in a nice clean cotton hankie, and throw it in a good
90 degree wash. Does that kill the bugs? I don't know, but I like the principle
a great deal more than I like the idea of virus-laden tissues fermenting in
household bins and rubbish bags for a week.
But hygiene aside, if you've got to be poorly, at
least do it in style. And is there anything less classy than a naff packet of
tissues emblazoned with the image of some ghastly cartoon character? Surely
it's much more pleasurable to dip into a selection of pretty little cotton
squares.
My collection of hankies is extensive. Ironed and
folded they take up a good six inch long space in my drawer. But there are many
treasures within. Hankies that I had as a child with pictures of dachshunds on,
my Dad's monogrammed hankies (large enough for a substantial cold - he had a
big nose), pretty embroidered examples my mother had when she was a child, and
numerous other delicate delights that I've picked up from second hand shops along
the way (normally for 20p - cheaper than tissues). They are little works of
art.
Young girls began their embroidery training with
hankies. You can still pick up Victorian and Edwardian examples for a song,
with intricate lacework and other embellishment. What stories they could tell.
Many are so delicate that they really are only good for one blow. But I say if
you've got one blow, then make it a stylish one.
I shall doubtless now be stricken down with
swine flu, both for my tissue terrorism and my arrogant belief that yoga and
good food have left my immune system in a reasonably vigorous state. But if I
do take to my bed, it will be with a certain standard of elegance upheld and a
good supply of antique embroidered hankies.
