by Lady Macleod (Thu Feb 04, 2010)
I started my
plastic surgery savings account when I was in my early thirties. None of that
‘oh not me!' Even in my cradle, I knew when the neck and jaw started to go, I
wanted them tightened up.
Now let's be
clear, I am not a beautiful woman but I am a pretty one. Being pretty is like having
more money than you need: it's not necessary for life, but it certainly makes
it easier. And at 55 years (I thought that was fairly good) I began to notice
‘the sag' of the neckline, the not-so-taut jaw line and I wanted it gone. I
don't expect to be cremated still looking pretty; good looking in that Coco
Chanel way yes, but not pretty. But I do want just ten more years - ten more
years of the flirtatious looks and comments from men of all ages, ten more
years of being able to wear my hair long and not look ridiculous, ten more
years of dressing ‘my age' - but having that age knocked back by ten.
So at
59-years-old I pulled out the old savings account and applied it to my face and
chest - happy day. Now what I didn't consider (because I was young - duh) was
that when your face and breast begin to sag - so do your earlobes. And it makes
a real difference to the contour of your new tight jaw line.
No brainer.
‘Bob them' said I to my new best friend - my plastic surgeon. Well when they
‘bob' your ears they sew up those two holes that were for me terrifying and excruciating
to have drilled 36 years ago. Yikes! And you can't not do it again - every
earring I have is for pierced ears. Economic necessity rears its head along
with aesthetics. I love my earrings.
Like the
geek that I am, I went to the Internet to research information about getting
the job of re-piercing done. It turns out that a tattoo parlor is the safest,
as well as the most aesthetically satisfying place to have the procedure. Now I
didn't get my moniker of Lady Macleod totally by accident... I'm normally not even in neighborhoods
that have a tattoo parlor. Here in
Denver, Colorado, the ‘Design Emporium' comes highly recommended and after a
visit (yes, I did wait for my doctor husband to come, ask questions, and hold
my hand) that showed the establishment was both accommodating and sanitary, I
decided this was the place to have the procedure.
As my ‘design
artist' Dave led us to the back room (didn't you just know there would be a
back room) I was reassured by his calm and knowledgeable manner. While he poked
the two holes into my ears, he and my husband discussed the finer points of piercing
more intimate areas (both male and female), which certainly took my mind off
the pain, as I was vehemently expressing my lack of desire for any more than
the two ear holes! Please!
After the
procedure was completed and the chemically inert earrings inserted, I was supplied
with a cleaning solution and directions to ‘keep your hands off your ears and
don't remove the inserts for two months.' So not a problem for the woman
terrified of infection. All proceeded well and I can tell you that the
placement of the holes is perfect and I can wear even the heavy chandelier earrings
that I brought back from Morocco - so very cool.
And there
you have the mature woman's guide to having your ears resurfaced. Really,
that's the ‘hole' thing! (Couldn't resist.)
