by Tracey (Wed Jul 15, 2009)
In this technological age of whizz bang gadgetry and computer software, there's something that hasn't been invented yet.
OK, there's lots they haven't invented yet - a robot to cook the dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, and get the kids to hang up their towels and clean their rooms. Sure, they are already working on prototypes of some of those - others, sadly, will probably forever be the stuff of fantasy.
Meanwhile I have a need, and an idea. Surely there's some smarty pants out there who can come up with a solution for frazzled mothers and partners who are anxious about getting sick.
Of course no-one wants to be sick. That goes without saying. But there's an extra burden on those of us who have their finger on the pulse of the household happenings. If you are fortunate enough to live in a situation where the role of CEO Domestic Affairs is shared, then read no further.
I'm talking about the rest of us, the ones with more specialised roles in the household division of labour. The stats are out there. The unpaid job of coordinating a household more often than not comes down to the Woman of the House, whether she works outside the home or not. We know it's true, otherwise there wouldn't be fridge magnets around like ‘Do you want to speak to the Man of the house, or the Woman who knows what's happening?' would there?
For us there is no sick leave - and even rec leave doesn't come without having to prepare screeds of written instructions. And that's when the problems start.
If your situation is anything like my house, you'll recognise the signs. Announce you're going to bed early because you feel like you might be coming down with something, and the Other Half eyes you suspiciously, with just a hint of panic. You know what he's thinking: ‘You can't get sick!'
And you are thinking the same thing. You've been there before, and it's not fun. It's bad enough being sick, but the extra dramas you could do without.
Have you ever been asked: ‘What should we have for dinner?' in between your bouts of throwing up? Or had to give detailed instructions about where and when to pick up or drop off a kid when every word is a sledgehammer in your head, and is accompanied by a wave of nausea? (And then you think ‘What if I was actually unconscious? - What would you do then, huh?')
If you're in the midst of a migraine, gastric attack, or suspected case of swine flu, it's not prime time to be drafting up a sheet of instructions. And no-one ever has the foresight or time to devise a ‘just in case I am sick' contingency list.
There has to be a better way.
Like a little glass box, labelled ‘In case of emergency' - with an envelope inside? .. No... that's so last century - time consuming and laborious.
But hey. This is the 21st Century! We have computers! And software that does the most amazing things. All we need is a neat little program that can be called upon in ‘an emergency.'
It would build up a database of everything that we do each day, with suggestions of possible contacts and backups to call if extra help is required, or people who need to be notified of non-attendance.
In the event of you being indisposed, the hapless Other Family Members need only activate emergency contingency mode, and the program will gently guide them through your usual day.
Add in a feature where they can download this guide to their thumb drive, phone, or iPod, and you could be left in peace to recuperate without being hassled.
The possibilities are mind-boggling really. What about a plug-in that does voice instructions, SatNav style? Forget default voice settings - you don't want to go there. But if you can get celebrity voices for your TomTom, then why not your own voice? It would be a calming influence to settle the panic, and to reassure them that you are the mainstay of their lives.
I think it has potential.
I'd buy it. Wouldn't you?
